From Darkness, Light

As every HR professional knows, most of our time is spent cleaning up messes. But this story is a story of success, which don't seem to present themselves often.

The story begins when I began my employment with a local non-profit. I was hired into a department with a new Director of HR, Tina, and two extremely unpleasant and unengaged HR employees who hated Tina, an HR Generalist, Marcia, and a Benefits Specialist, Brenda. Brenda and Marcia could not stomach Tina, and by proxy didn't like me, because I was one of Tina’s “people.”

Over the next few months, I began to work well with Marcia. This is mostly because she taught me how to do her job and therefore was able to sit back and relax most of the day. But I still had a hit or miss relationship with Brenda, who saw me as "mini-Tina.”

Brenda’s hatred for Tina grew, and she eventually developed a habit of screaming about Tina from across the HR Suite. I would randomly hear her say, “I fucking hate this bitch, I’m going to kill her today!” from down the hall. I knew if I heard it, Tina also must have heard it, as our offices were next to each others. Brenda would regularly leave Tina’s office in tears after check-in meetings. She would cry and say that Tina made her life miserable, and nothing she did was right. For some reason that I really couldn't understand, the two were just oil and water. Sure Tina was difficult, and sometimes a real bitch, but she was also competent and supportive. For the most part, Tina seemed to genuinely appreciate Brenda, and always tried to encourage her through stretch assignments, and at one point, even promoted her to try to motivate her more. But Tina was demanding, always forgot what she assigned and/or told people (and what she didn’t), which really frustrated Brenda. Brenda took everything personal, and eventually went on medication for anxiety and depression medication, which she blamed on Tina’s constant nagging. Brenda would often tell me that her therapist thought all Tina had to do was tell Brenda to “stick a broom up her ass and then she could sweep the floor too.” Over the course of time, Tina became fed up with Brenda’s insubordinate tendencies and wanted her gone. She would regularly tell me that she saw me in a modified version of that role, managing the benefits and compensation. Being in the middle of their rivalry was extremely uncomfortable, and contributed to Brenda’s resentment of me.

In a way, I felt bad for Brenda. She seemed to always want to succeed and perform well, but since her relationship with Tina was damaged and Tina was done trying to fix it. In an attempt to drive Brenda out, Tina became even more fussy with Brenda’s work, which caused Brenda to make more mistakes and become even more resentful of Tina.

But something horrible happened. Brenda was diagnosed with cancer and needed to go out on a medical leave for immediate surgery. Despite our ups and downs as a department, we were all truly worried about her. She lived at home alone, and we knew this probably terrifying for her. At the same time, Brenda’s job needed to get done, and Tina felt like she needed to scramble to find a temporary replacement. Brenda liked to feel invaluable, and hoarded her processes and procedures so that no one would be able to do her job. She also loved paper. No offense to all of you benefits people but honestly, I think these attributes are common among all of you! Regardless, Tina only had a month or two before Brenda’s surgery to come up with a plan of action. So Tina did the only sensible thing in her situation (that was sarcasm, my dears), and had me cross train with Brenda to fill in while she was out.

Brenda was on edge. She hated Tina, was extremely nervous about the surgery, and on top of that was fearful that Tina would use her cancer as a way to get rid of her. With that said, the cross training did NOT go well.

Brenda would quickly explain tasks without much detail. When I would ask her why (for context) she would say “because,” or “don't ask questions.” We often argued, as she found excuses to cancel training sessions, was abrupt with me, and obviously felt threatened. On one particular day, Brenda got extremely frustrated with me and we began to argue. We raised our voices at each other and finally I said, “YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A FUCKING BITCH! I DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKING JOB!” To my surprise, Brenda responded, “THAT’S RIGHT, I AM A FUCKING BITCH!” We looked at each other and laughed, and from that moment on, our relationship took a positive turn.

As it got closer to her surgery, I would reassure her that she would be back and that she had to because I wouldn't have anyone else to argue with. We quickly realized that I had way too much work from my job to do her’s too, so after a couple of weeks, we hired a consultant to help in Brenda’s absence. Brenda went out for surgery and was on leave for a few months. When she came back, she would often ask me to go get her lunch, or go to a fruit cart to get her whatever she wanted. She would give me strict orders like, “Tell them I want everything but the orange, mango, cantaloupe and make them add berries.” I would say things like, “Is everything to the queen’s liking?,” because she complained about everything. I mostly never took her money and would jokingly tell her that she only asked me to get things for her so that she didn't have to pay for them herself.

Brenda’s surgery proved unsuccessful and after post-operation testing the cancer remained and she had to go out again for treatment. She exhausted all of her FMLA, and then her ADA, and Tina happily made the decision to end her employment.

Brenda told me that Tina visited her in the hospital and Brenda told her to get the fuck out.

Brenda was eventually replaced by Marcella, who seemed great. But the office was quiet and a little boring without Brenda. I missed her tirades, I missed her threatening Tina’s life, and I missed calling her a Prima Donna.

After a few years, our then Director retired (not Tina) and was replaced by Louise. Soon after, Marcella resigned before Louise was able to understand her role and responsibilities. Louise was considerably nervous, as she had only started a month prior and no one knew how to fill in the gaps left behind by Marcella. I thought of Brenda. I explained to Louise that Brenda was extremely competent in managing the workload, but she DID NOT see eye-to-eye with Tina. Louise was okay with taking the chance, and Brenda gratefully accepted a temporary assignment until we were able to hire a permanent placement. Brenda excelled! She immediately cleaned up so many issues left behind by Marcella. She was pleasant and funny, a Brenda who I imagined existed B.T. (Before Tina). Brenda insisted that she only wanted to work in the role until we found a replacement. Either way, Brenda redeemed herself, and would leave behind a positive legacy.

After a few months, we hired someone who would eventually be the bane of my existence, Phyllis. When the reality that Phyllis was hired set in, Brenda realized how much she loved the role. She realized that didn’t want to leave, and regretted waiting until it was too late to figure it out.

The story of Phyllis is a story for another time, but three years into her tenure, and quickly after I became her manager, she resigned and left behind a whole bunch of mistakes, incomplete job tasks, and an e-mailbox full of junk mail from Marshall’s, Ann Taylor, CVS, etc.

When Phyllis resigned, it was a chance for me to really determine what I could morph the role into. My original idea was to combine the role with wellness, DE&I, benefits and engagement, to make the role feel more of a whole-person wellbeing role.

A week after Phyllis’ notice became public, Brenda called me and said, “Do you have something to ask me?” It was obvious that someone told her about Phyllis and that her role would be vacant. I explained that I was trying to decide what I wanted to role to look like, but I would definitely be interested in having her come back to temporarily fill in like she did before we hired Phyllis. True to her Prima Donna ways, she gave me a list of things she didn't want to do, including managing the open enrollment process, one of the major things I needed from this role. I agreed because I beggars can be choosy, but when she started, she completely managed the open enrollment process without me asking her to, and worked on all of the things she said she wouldn't do and more.

Similar to what happened when Marcella left, again, Brenda uncovered a slue of issues that the incompetent Phyllis missed, including retirement compliance issues, employees being incorrectly enrolled in various plans, etc. and resolved them with little to no assistance from me.

Our relationship grew stronger. She was keeping me in the loop, audited things that I didn't even know existed and exceeding my expectations. On top of that, we had fun together. We laughed, cursed employees, and reimagined and implemented new benefits and engagement activities. Brenda became my star. She’s definitely the best employee that’s ever been in that role, and I tell her so all the time. She even cried when she received her performance evaluation that exceeded expectations.

She regularly tells me that I’m the best manager she's ever had, and I always tell her that she's amazing and dedicated and that I couldn't run the department without her, and it’s true.